04/01/12 Solution. Unfinished Painting Final Day Approaching

Exhausted. No sleep. Trying to catch up. Impossible. Stupid phone. Exhibit in 4 Days. Charcoal Preliminary Sketch on canvas. Mold not done...Stressed. I can't find the time but I will try to finish this painting. Not feeling lucky. Lucky number 4. I need a miracle or a time machine. Work.Work.Work. Send. Type. E-mail. Type. Thinking.....Done. Uneasiness, my painting is still unfinished but I finish work early on Friday and Thursday If I don't sleep I can work on through until shift on Friday morning. Impossible. I just can't. won't. I want to finish this painting will my mold and have everything together before Saturday, but I know....I am stubborn. It is very probable that this might not happen. Unfinished. Tired...Defeated. Sleep.

03/28/12 Finishing My Painting/Sculpture Day 08

Viva Las Vegas. So glad I made it and even happier that I am on strong pain meds. Its very hot and dry...and we've done so much walking and walking and walking and walking. Thirsty. I go into the Hotel and Casino and absorb the cold smoky cigarette filled air. A/C is wonderful. I drink my bottled water. I walk pass the lobby and I see beautiful flowers. A magnificent garden. No. A meadow....beds of tulips and poppies and a waterfall with a carousel. More. A windmill and people crowding with giant bees hanging above. I am at awe and overwhelmed with its beauty. I smell the tulips. Finally I make my way to the back of the exhibit and hanging is a painting made of fresh grown flowers in reds and blues and purples and white daisies. 3D depicting a house on a lushious green hill with the sky a pale blue and white clouds. I sit to smell the flowers and stare at all the colors and lights in the room. But I am warm and happy. Content looking at this flower bed landscape framed as a painting. I want my painting just like this...to pop and feel real and smell and sound like the flowers are screaming. When I get home I feel maybe there will be time.

03/22/12 Finishing My Painting/Sculpture Day 03

I am awake. So much to do and yet so little time. I am hungry. I need to pee. Then there came the pop and the crack and no one is there...no one knows..oh god where is my phone....I am here laying on the stairs and nothing else matters except for the searing pain in my neck. I can't move my head or my neck. There is only pain, pain PAIN PAAAIIIIINNNNNN. But I can still move my feet and arms. I can see my phone and it is at the bottom of the stairs and I hear the phone beeping....the sound of it being low on battery. 30 minutes pass...I am inching down the stairs. 1 hour passes I am in tears...don't give up...halfway there. It has been 2 hours and 30 minutes...I am so close just three more steps. 10 minutes later I have my phone in hand and dial 9 1 1. The ambulance comes and finds me there upon the stairs and I feel ashamed and relieved. They take me to Queens and give me drugs for the pain. I am fitted with a neckbrace but I feel looks more like a cone for dogs....and I am dejected...the beginning of break...before my flight...my mind ventures to a dark place. How will I ever get my painting done in time? I feel defeated.

My solution

I still don't feel I'm working quickly enough but oh well, I suppose I'll address it later. Quality comes first after all. However, I did figure out something I could do to help me stay more on task.  It was on Wednesday when I barely got any work done. It's the middle of the week already. The pressure was on me already when I just said: "That's it. I'm just not going to turn it on today." My laptop: The very thing that lets me write up essays and get class updates is also very VERY distracting. Going to social media networks traps me there for hours and youtube does not help either. So, since I can't concentrate at all with it on, I'll just take a few days out of the week and have a break from my laptop. That way, I can try and get as much done as possible without the use of my computer.
As of now, I still have a lot of things to get done but at least I was able to finish more than what I would have if I had left it on.

Expensive Piece of Wood ?!?

I bought a piece of wood about 5 years ago for $75 from a woodworker. My intention was to build a low table for outside. Today that wood (table?) is right where I left it 5 years ago, now overgrown - and my wife makes constant reference to that wonderful table, and what a bargain it was too! Needles to say it has become symbolic in our family. When I reminded my wife that it sometimes took daVinci seventeen years to make a painting, she smiled one of those smiles that says it all - at age 48,  I probably should stop using that excuse!

So here's my project for the week - and how do I feel right now? Like I've done enough for one day - time for a break!

Continued

Holding on

Work Work Work. Six days in a row. Wishing I was elsewhere. Floating away in my thoughts. I guess you can call it day dreamin. The director of my life. Full plate, so many flavors. Embracing reality throughout my dreamy days and enlightened nights.

I am feeling rushed...like I don't have time to finish anything..and now I have time, but I don't know what to start first! I am like the rabbit in Alice in Wonderland.